Tip #9: Reality Check

Consider whether there really is a problem.  Although we often expect kids to grow up fast today, the fact is that occasional bedwetting up to age three is still considered “normal” by most experts - children at this age are still simply learning to do basic things like use the washroom and control their bladder. Even kids up to age five may have an occasional bed wetting “accident” and this should not be a cause for concern.  Many experts consider children over five who wet the bed regularly to have nocturnal Enuresis.  In many cases, this condition tends to run in families and can last well into teenage years.  

Before you start worrying unduly about bedwetting, consider the age of your child. If your child is very young, it may simply take a few months or a year to resolve the issue. 

Many children have nighttime accidents until they are five or even older. If your child is older (six, seven, or older), consider whether anyone else in the family suffered from similar bedwetting problems in childhood.  Was there something that helped?

Sometimes, just seeing Enuresis as a childhood ailment or a condition in the family that is always resolved eventually can help soothe the frazzled parent and the embarrassed child.               

You need to consider the frequency of problems as well.  A child who wets the bed after watching a scary movie or before a big day may be less worrisome than the older child who does not seem to be able to sleep through a dry night. 

Tip #10: Once you have calmed down, take action.

Many of the above tips are intended to get parents and children more comfortable with the bedwetting and accidents that occur when a child is trying to cope with Enuresis. 

This is because bedwetting is such a stressful and emotional issue - in fact, some polls have suggested that besides divorce and family conflict, it is one of the most stressful issues for families.  Learning to deal with the problem calmly, then, is a big priority.

However, parents should not just allow themselves to be placated into taking no action at all.  The fact is, bedwetting can still be a nuisance and a problem for your child, and there are many solutions out there.  Once your family has learned to deal with the problem in a level-headed way, do encourage your family to seek solutions rather than wait for the problem to go away on its own. There are many solutions out there that can help your child, so that your son or daughter do not suffer needlessly.

Tip #11: Don’t let it become a big deal.

Of course, you want to help your child stop wetting the bed so that they can enjoy a comfortable sleep with no embarrassment in the morning, but be careful that you desire to help does not come across as a sign that there is something wrong.  Don’t make bedwetting - an un-dangerous condition - become a big issue at your house.

Tip #12: Keep things low-key

Make sure that the approach to bedwetting is a low-key one.  Point out that it is not a child’s fault and that it usually means that a child simply needs to keep growing up - there is nothing abnormal about it.  It often helps if the child knows that others in the family have experienced bedwetting and have grown out of it.

Also, make sure that any treatments or remedies used are offered in a low-key, non-threatening way.  There is no need to keep stressing the child’s bedwetting throughout the day.  Offer some therapy during the day but allow the child to play and just enjoy being a kid.

Tip #13: Let the child tell you when he or she has wet the bed.

If your child wets the bed, make sure that siblings or other well-intentioned members of the household don’t announce “Johnny wet the bed -again.”  This just leads to shaming. 

Instead, it is often helpful to have a quiet time in the morning when your child can tell you himself or herself. Having a system (such as a calendar where the child marks wet and dry nights) can make it easier for the child to approach you, as there is a routine for sharing this information.

Tip #14: Let the child help.

If it will help your child feel less embarrassed, let him or her help clean up.  He or she can tidy up the pillows or fold the sheets.  In some cases, this can make the child feel less inept and babyish, if they can be entrusted with a grownup chore.  Plus, if they can help clean the bed they may feel in control of a small part of their bedwetting.

Do not make cleaning up a punishment, but rather offer it as a way to make the child more comfortable.  A comment such as “would you like to put the pillowcases on the pillows to make your bed more comfortable?” makes it clear that the child is not being punished for wetting the bed.

Tip #15: Stay alert for bigger problems

In the big scheme of things, bedwetting is not a big problem.  Your child is not in any danger of serious injury or harm if he or she occasionally or even regularly loses control of their bladder at night.  To a child, however, it may not seem like a small problem.  For this reason, as a parent, you must remain alert for signs of bigger problems.